So here is part two of my story.
So around the time of this sketch book I have been showing you I was drawing non-stop. At school, at home, anywhere I could lug around a sketch book. Mostly at school though.
I would finish my assignments and just draw waiting for the next lesson, or I would doodle while listening to a lesson. I had a separate binder exclusively for my drawings. So this is how I spent my time because I would get bored when ever I finished my stuff and the work seemed repetitive. I thought it was a great use of time. Apparently my teacher did not like this.
During a parent/teacher interview my teacher told my them that I was spending too much time drawing and not enough time engaged in the lessons (now there has been studies done showing that some people learn better while actively engaging motor skills while listening to a lecture, this is me). Then he proceeded to say that “Art will get you no where”. Now that whole thing still makes me mad but I have also come to grips with a lot of this as I will explain. So my teacher told my parents that I was not allowed to bring my drawing binder to school anymore and that I shouldn’t draw in his class unless it was art class.
My parents were concerned about my education and they figured the teacher knew best and they followed what he said, I love my parents and I know they wanted the best for me. They encouraged me to continue to draw at home, of course but I was still heartbroken, discouraged and really confused. The rest of that year I did not draw very much. And each year after that it became less and less. I tried an art class in grade 9 in high-school and it just did not do anything for me. So the passionate fire that one burned inside me was reduced to an embarrassing pile of embers.
For a very long time I have held a lot of resentment towards that teacher that told this 8 year old boy that art would get him no where. That his dreams of drawing comic books was shit. As I grew older I thought about it more and more and resented maybe even hated him for those words. Up until about when I started this blog I had so much resentment, and anger towards him for discouraging this 8 year old boy away from a possible career in visual arts. Until I googled his name.
I was hoping to find people just bashing his name on the internet. “WORST Teacher EVER!!” I was hoping to see plastered all over the internet. But that wasn’t what I found. I found his blog. I am not posting a link to it because I want to keep him anonymous. I read it and I thought about what I had just consumed and I realized something. He didn’t want to teach kids, at least not my age of kids.
Reading his blog it was all about learning and loving life and the uses of technology to innovate. All about his university classes he was teaching, TED talks he was doing and it was just happy. Not this staunchy prick that hates art. Now I am not saying “It’s ok that he crushed my dreams, he hated his job!” No, that’s not what I am saying at all but it gives me context. It has helped me to accept that I stopped drawing because I chose not to, not just because he told me I couldn’t draw in his class. Maybe I wouldn’t start an art rebellion when I was eight but I could have realized it later in life. Like I am doing now.
There is no reason for me to dwell on the past mistakes of myself or my teacher. We all live in the now and if there is something that you are unhappy about you have to fix it now and plan for the future. The only thing standing in your way is yourself. Sure there are people that will slow you down but there are great people that will walk with you. And I consider anyone reading this someone walking with me in my journey to rediscover art.
Thank you for reading and here are your doodles,